It Belongs in a Museum

Run, don’t walk like an Egyptian to your nearest Steam store and check out It Belongs in a Museum!put on your virtual reality headset and join a secret organization that has been around for thousands of years, in a story that wouldn't sell out a block buster movie, but is JUST good enough for VR! Your task is simple: take your ample goddess companion into battle across five stages listening to her recall the story while destroying monsters with an array of weapons. Look for sparkly treasure strewn across large, small, and procedural dungeons to satisfy your need to buy much needed guns. Marvel at the lack of consistency in story telling as the plot unfolds leaving you with more questions than answers!And when all of that is finished, you can extend your gameplay experience by repeating the stages in a similar fashion to a hamster in a wheel for the sole purpose of buying virtual versions of REAL artifacts from the skeleton dealer to fill up your museum… to scratch that “I need to collect something….” Itch!So, act now! Copies are limited…. Wait… digital games aren’t limited, are they? OK screw it I’m too old for this. Features Multiple weapons: pistols, SMGs, assault rifles, shotguns, grenades, bow and sniper! Enough Unity store assets flipped you’ll think it’s a gymnastics tournament! Foul mouthed NPCs that keep it PG-13! A “story” written in the span of weeks when time allowed, loosely based on Akkadian/ Mesopotamian mythology with a large order of plot holes and logical fallacies! Smooth motion with no teleporting! Slow time just to make shooting look cool! Companion fully voiced by a REAL actress and other NPCs voiced by REAL AI! Inconsistent pacing and level design because sometimes I just thought: “Not realistic, but it looks cool!” Various types of enemies from skeletons, zombies, and mummies… OH MY! Climbing on various surfaces such as walls, pyramids, and …..stairs! Active ragdolls on certain enemy types. Give them a punch and watch them fall down!(Achievements not yet included. Side effects may include headache, fever, runny nose, nausea, lack of ambition, weight gain, indigestion, and priapism. Consult your doctor if you have two or more of these symptoms lasting longer than 4 hours.)